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If you have Aspergers and don’t know, it affects you anyway.If you do know, you may be able to minimize the negative impact and leverage the positive.
Hear the idea and ignore the clumsiness of the expression. If everything is reduced to how it negatively affects you, no wonder you are so frequently offended! If you expect others to act and speak a certain way, if you assume others will be as kind or compassionate as you, if you’re offended when they don’t rise to the level of your expectation, you will almost always be offended or on the verge of it. In the heat of the moment, try asking yourself, “Why am I getting so upset? ” Reason with yourself: “Did that person really mean it the way I was just about to take it?
Learn from your past experiences, and be careful the next time you speak or do something.
Do you explode in fits of anger over little things? If you are like most individuals with Asperger’s (high functioning autism), you have probably been offended numerous times (in one way or another) by someone's comment, action, choice, behavior or lifestyle. Someone’s bad mood isn’t about you – it’s about him or her! He would then seek out the offended party and apologize for the misconstrued word or deed. Part of accepting others’ imperfections is learning to forgive them for their past mistakes and create a sort of “forgiveness-default-setting” in your heart that you automatically go to when confronted with offensive language or behavior. People who are internally fragile – no matter how “tough” their exterior – break most easily at the wrong or misplaced word or deed. Become self-accepting, and life will be a more consistently joyful place to live. Pray for the ability to forgive and forget the offense if you have been truly offended. Putting yourself in the offender’s shoes will have the added benefit of being less offensive to others, as you learn to be “too noble to give offense.” If you can empathize for a minute, you can learn to see things from the offender’s perspective. To the degree you can detach your ideas from your identity, you will live a fulfilling life with little opportunity to feel offended.
But understand this: hypersensitivity is robbing you of happiness, and holding on to grudges because you were offended does not contribute to your overall happiness or mental health. This way, less in life will offend you, and happiness will be much less fleeting. Consider the context that things are being said or done. Keep in mind that when a comment seems offensive, it may not be aimed specifically at you. And then you will see that you too played a role in the conflict.
Knowing about Aspergers gives the individual an explanation, not an excuse, for why his or her life has taken the twists and turns that it has.
What one does with this information at the age of 20, 50 or 70 may differ, but it is still very important information to have.